Making the Most of Your Two Week Wait (TWW) After Embryo Transfer or Fertility Treatment, Part 1: Focus on You

You have had the embryos transferred or just completed a round of treatment. In two weeks, they will do the blood test to check your hCG levels – to see if implantation, a pregnancy, your dream, or your goal has been achieved. You’ve likely been told what you should and shouldn’t do physically by your treatment team. But by far, the biggest challenge of this stage is staying positive and not letting stress and anxiety take over your life. It’s an emotional rollercoaster! I’ve been there myself – trying not to obsess, not to constantly seek some sort of sign or message from my body, wondering what was happening.

I’m sure you’ve been told not to buy or use pregnancy tests, and that is true. They aren’t going to be accurate at this point. They could be false positives or false negatives, and you don’t need to be second guessing things right now! You’ve likely been given a number of “don’ts” – don’t drink alcohol, don’t do strenuous exercise, don’t have sexual intercourse – but what about the “dos?”

The number one “do” can be explained very simply – take care of yourself! If you have a partner, take care of yourselves together! Part 2 of this blog will address specifically what you can do as a couple to make the most of these two weeks and strengthen your relationship in the process. The biggest gift you can give whatever is happening inside is love, hope, happiness, and calm for yourself. Let’s break down some specific things you can do to not only survive but thrive during the TWW!

1. Do keep living your life! While this is not the best time to start preparing for weight lifting competition or training to become a Zumba instructor, it is important to keep your blood flowing, get fresh air, and feel good. It is not going to help and could actually hinder success if you stay in bed for two weeks. Go for a walk, play a round of mini-golf with a friend, and have a little dance party in your living room. You don’t have to do a lot but do keep your body moving, even if it running into the grocery store to get a little something yummy to enjoy for dinner or dessert.
2. Do be mindful and create a strong mind and body connection. Learning how to listen to your mind and body, to recognize and process feelings, to calm and inspire yourself, to know and trust your body, and to love and support yourself. It takes learning and practice, but it is beneficial for your entire lifetime. Mindfulness and mind/body wellness have been proven in study after study to increase the effectiveness of fertility treatments – including all the methods below!
   • Learning basic, controlled, deep breathing can lead to increased relaxation, blood flow, and stress release. Here is a fast and easy anxiety release you can do for yourself right away (3-2-1 technique)
   • Meditation and/or guided meditation, be it a secular practice or a religious form such as prayer, is a wonderful way to soothe your mind and strengthen yourself within.
   • Hypnosis and self-hypnosis provide an excellent way to attain a meditative state quickly, as well as develop a more positive mindset, deal with subconscious blocks, and help create change that affects your physical and mental health. Hypnosis is a cornerstone of my practice working with fertility.
   • Mind/body wellness practices such as yoga and acupuncture can also help achieve mindfulness and a healthy connection. Do what works for you, but don’t be afraid to try new ideas and methods. Ultimately it is all the power of your mind and body working together!
3. Do decide carefully who choose to share information about treatments with, and be sure they are supportive. Right now, you need to protect yourself emotionally, staying positive and hopeful. Having support from family and friends is wonderful and important, but let them know if you need space or privacy. Explain that you will share news when you have news you wish to share, and not to ask before then. Let them know that you may not feel up to a baby shower or family event with children. Put your emotional health first.
4. Do take control of what you are hearing, and end any conversation that isn’t wanted or helpful. And if you get unsolicited advice or stories from others that are negative, cancel the words right out of your mind and tell them that you are focused on your own journey right now. Really – try saying “cancel” out loud or to your mind after something that came in needs to get right back out. Make an “x” sign with your hand if it helps, or imagine that nasty buzzer sound from a game show. You don’t need any judgment or negativity right now, and you aren’t going to let it in.
5. Do be particularly careful about your plans on the day you will be getting results. Think about where and how you wish to receive results so you can access the privacy and support you will need. This is a time for self-care and thoughtfulness.
6. Do stay positive! You may be tempted to do pregnancy tests or find yourself constantly trying to figure out if you have a symptom of implantation or not. The truth is, your body cannot tell you at this early stage if it is pregnant – the treatment itself may induce symptoms that could be misinterpreted. Until the actual test, you are not going to know. A big part of fertility is being receptive and welcoming to a successful pregnancy and accepting that you can only help up to a point. You have acted with the best intentions, seeking the proper treatment and the proper team, and you now trust your body and the team to have done all they can.

When negative thoughts occur, try reframing your thoughts – instead of assuming the worst, thinking it will protect you if results are negative, instead be open and receptive to success. Tell yourself that you could be pregnant right now and that you have done everything you can to make that happen. Visualize what your baby may look like in you at this time. Hold your belly, and fill it with love, trust, and warmth. Let your body know you trust it – yes, you can and should talk to your body and uterus out loud! Even talk to that embryo inside. I know it sounds crazy, but I did it. Realizing I was expecting a miracle from a body that I was heaping endless silent verbal abuse on, I decided to make peace with my body and start working with it as a beloved partner rather than the enemy. True story! It made a big difference.

• Do find ways to live in the moment and distract yourself from endless worrying and wondering. What do you do to escape reality for a bit? Dig into that new book you’ve been dying to read. Do a binge of movies or shows you’ve been meaning to get to. Learning something new is a wonderful way to refocus your mind on something else. Take up a new hobby, take a class in person or online. Try a creative outlet – make or write music, paint, color – yes, I actually found several fertility related adult coloring books available on Amazon; learn a new craft or skill – pottery, wood carving, cooking, a new language, gardening, building with Legos. The very process of learning a new skill is healthy for your brain in itself. Remember, it isn’t about creating something earthshaking or perfect, and it is just the joy and focus of learning and creating that matters.
• Do find ways to not just care for but really nurture yourself. To be fertile and abundant, you need to fill up your tanks and make your body a welcoming, relaxing place to welcome new life. Think about what pleases your five senses – get massages, take a scented bath or footbath with some essential oils, really moisturize your skin with a scent or lotion you like, listen to music that you can really lose yourself in, or listen to Nature sounds, sing, pound a drum or play an instrument, get a warm fuzzy blanket that makes you feel held and secure, write poetry, create a collection of stones or seashells or flowers or little things that soothe and please you. Bring yourself joy. You deserve it.
• Do play with and indulge your inner child. What is something you always wanted to do as a child? What made you happy? Did you like to collect stones? I used to collect them in Pringles containers as a kid! Did you love that fresh pack of crayons at the beginning of the school year? Do you love stuffed animals? Did you love making colorful construction paper creations with glue and scissors, and glitter? Were you always on the swings at the playground? Go fly a kite, meander through the toy aisles or a toy store for fun, play with playdough, or go to a petting zoo. Is there a favorite food, recipe, or place you used to like to eat? Care for and nurture your inner child, be the person that you need most at that age. A joyful inner child will bring you a healthier mind, body, and spirit.
• Do know that asking for help is just as important as taking care of yourself. There are several online support groups, but particularly during the intensity of the TWW, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist, a counselor, a support group, your clinic, a doctor, and nurses for support and assistance.

Remember – many of you may be going through this with a partner, and they are going through this emotional process as well. Part 2 of this blog will contain ideas to help you not only survive the TTW together but to strengthen your relationship in the process!

Wishing you Fertile Awakenings!

Heather Haller